


Lancing the Pain

by ilyena_sylph, Merfilly



Series: Return of the Padawan [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Platonic Cuddling, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 14:31:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7718485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilyena_sylph/pseuds/ilyena_sylph, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Padmé greets Ahsoka. Later, Anakin tells what happened to Dooku.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lancing the Pain

**Author's Note:**

> The book says Anakin didn't hesitate. The movie draws out the moment. For purposes of musely torture, we go with the latter.

Padmé hated finding the bed empty when she got up to go use the 'fresher. Instead of going back to bed, she headed out to get a start on her day… and paused in the doorway to see the couch was occupied. Anakin had not left, and was stretched out on the couch, with company.

The dusky red skin, the white and blue markings of the lekku and montrals told her who that was lying on Anakin's legs, half curled behind them, and Padmé was both surprised and so relieved. Her husband had been so upset about the young woman leaving him after that obscene debacle of a tribunal, while insisting it was a choice she had been forced to make. They hadn't discussed it much, as Anakin had been so upset over it, but seeing them like that made Padmé hope things would be better now.

For all that she had given Anakin teasing criticism over being Ahsoka's teacher, she had to admit it had brought a new level of maturity to her husband. And Padmé liked the girl, respected her for bearing up as strongly in the war as any full Jedi, let alone a fresh Padawan.

_Eyes on her._

Ahsoka knew it in an instant, but her heart told her she was safe, so no ripple of disturbance spread from her even as she opened her eyes and looked to find.... yep, Padmé. She lifted her uppermost hand and waved silently, hoping Skyguy would stay asleep a little longer. Force and stars knew he needed it.

Padmé gave her a soft smile, then turned to go to the kitchen instead. She could prep a breakfast for them all, quietly, and let Anakin rest a little longer. She wondered what it meant that Ahsoka had shown up now, and hoped it meant good things. Anakin might calm down some.

She hated that she almost wished he'd go back out into the war, but he seemed to be growing worse than ever here on Coruscant for … everything. He was so angry or afraid, all of the time now.

Ahsoka nodded and settled down again, letting her eyes fall closed. There'd be food soon, and that would wake Skyguy, but right now he was still resting. 

He felt so exhausted, even asleep, exhausted and... heart-wounded, somehow. She'd coax that out of him soon, once the Senator was tucked safely in the Senate's chambers. Right now... rest. That was always the rule. Rest when you could.

It was not much longer before Anakin did begin to stir, reacting to the wakefulness around him, but he came up far easier than he had in recent weeks. There was this protective presence touching his mind that had been missing. The sounds around him were peaceful. And the warmth of a body touching his was one more reassurance, the light pressure that of someone he cared for.

"Snips," he murmured. "Give me back my legs?" he said, half-teasing in his tone, feeling a little lighter than he had the night before. She was here, they would find a way, and Padmé would be safe in her care.

She half-growled at him, burrowing closer for a moment, before she untangled herself and sat up straight, yawning as she did. "But I was comfy," she added to her grumbling. "You make a pretty good pillow. Padmé's in the kitchen, by the way."

Anakin considered that and realized he actually had an appetite today. He wanted to eat. That was new. He twisted to get his feet on the floor and then stretched, working the servos of his mechanical hand out of habit. He'd need to get his glove. And use the 'fresher. Everything felt vaguely normal, and he knew that was because of Ahsoka.

"Thanks, Snips." He stood to go handle his morning routine, leaving her time to go talk to Padmé first if she wanted.

She flashed him a quick, bright smile. "No problem, Skyguy," she said as she rolled off the couch herself to go and say hi properly. She poked her head around the corner, and grinned at the Senator before she stepped on in. 

"Um... hi? Sorry I convinced Artooey to let me in, but..." 

"If I had known you were on planet, I would have given you the codes," Padmé reassured her, before moving to take the Togruta's hands, smiling softly, because her nightgown did not hide the bulge of her pregnancy. If Ahsoka had gotten Anakin to sleep, he had to have told her. He didn't deal well with people who mattered to him when he was holding secrets. "Welcome, Ahsoka. And thank you, for whatever you did to get Anakin to rest."

She squeezed Padmé's hands in return, using the contact to check on her... perfectly healthy, and a perfectly healthy Force signature, sleepy and relaxed. She smiled, knowing it probably looked ridiculous, and shrugged her shoulders up towards her montrals for a moment. "Glad to hear that," Ahsoka replied, and meant it. The thanks, though... 

"Mostly, I promised I'd help keep you safe. So you're stuck with me, Milady, at least until that little one is out here with us safe and sound. 

"...how long are human pregnancies?" 

"Twenty-eight ten-days, I'm told," Padmé answered, half-smiling for that question. "And if you don't mind staying close to me, that would do so much for Ani," she said. "He has… been very worried. 

"You, I trust, more than reprogramming Threepio as a med-droid," Padmé added. "Do you want, or need -- and I am not prying -- credentials? I can have my staff provide them, even grant you citizenship to Naboo, to provide you more protection." She did not know why Ahsoka had left, but she would do everything to protect the young woman. Anakin loved her, after all, in the way of a brother for a sister.

"Of course I don't mind," Ahsoka replied, slowly letting go of her hands. "And it might help if I had a set that didn't shout ex-Padawan any time I use them. As -- as for Naboo citizenship... I'd be honored. And grateful.

"I don't really belong on Shili anymore. If I ever did." 

"Then it's done." Padmé rarely invoked her rights as a former Queen, but granting citizenship was one she had. She'd been planning on using it when the war ended, to help those troopers who needed a peaceful place to retire. With Ahsoka… she would attach the Togruta to her household. The Naberrie family had holdings enough to absorb one more body, and it would make Anakin happy. 

Anakin chose that moment to reappear, dressed and glove on the mechanical hand. He moved directly to Padmé, standing behind her to slide his arms around her, hands on her stomach. This let him touch his child, hold his wife, and soak in the peace of the moment before he had to attend Council.

"Good morning," he told Padmé, his voice soft and loving at her, so much less strained.

In the two and a half years she'd known her ~~Master~~ Skyguy, she'd never seen him look -- never _felt_ him -- so peaceful. He was centered, steady, almost truly calm. The windstorm of his emotions was ebbed down to a faint breeze, and he nearly glowed with the rightness of the moment. Ahsoka promised herself that nothing was going to happen to take that from him. Not having to hide, not having to pretend, having his family right there... she was going to make certain they stayed safe. 

While she was thinking, Padmé leaned back into her husband's arms, her head on his shoulder, a quiet, softly pleased noise in her throat for the contact. "...good morning, my love. I'm going to attach Ahsoka to the family, get her Naboo citizenship." 

Anakin's pride and love for his wife swelled sharply at that. "That's better than just contracting her, yes! Might even keep Snips out of trouble if she has to reflect well on her Senator," he said, drawling that last before he kissed the side of Padmé's head. He let go reluctantly, but he needed to eat and get to the Temple.

Just the thought pushed at some of his irritation to come back, but he needed Ahsoka's lightsabers no matter what.

"Hey!" Snips protested, mock-glaring at Skyguy, even as she smiled at feeling that flicker/flash of loving pride he felt for the woman he'd risked so much for, so often. "Without you to lead me into it, what kind of trouble am I possibly going to find?" 

He just gave a snort at her; she found plenty of trouble on her own, and they both knew it. "Glad you didn't mind, Padmé, but didn't think you would, that I asked Ahsoka to stay with you." He acquired a plate of food, then added some to Ahsoka's on the off-chance it would keep her from stealing off his plate.

"Of course I don't mind; she's our family and has been," Padmé said firmly, putting an end to any doubts from either of them where she stood on the matter. It got her a kiss, as Anakin leaned over to do so, and she smiled into it, glad he felt so much calmer.

Ahsoka beamed at her, ignoring the snort from Skyguy, and settled to eat breakfast. 

+++

Padmé had been invited to a dinner with some of the other Senators, which at least let Ahsoka leave her and go back to the apartment four floors up and wait for Skyguy. He'd surely come back soon... 

...except he was already there, looking a lot like a caged beast, prowling the apartment. He turned to face her, and some of the tension melted, but then he frowned.

"Padmé?"

"She's having dinner with some of the other Outer Sector senators," Ahsoka answered, shrugging her shoulders slightly. "Former Padawans not invited, but she's just downstairs a couple of floors. I can still sense her, she's just fine." 

"Not a Former Padawan," Anakin growled at her. "Our family, and a strong woman in your own right." The Jedi Council had managed to step all over his toes again, and he didn't want Ahsoka associating with their idiocy at all in her self-identity. "Alright." He moved his outer tunic aside and unclipped the pair of hilts from there, both looking delicate in his larger hand than they would in hers. "Here."

Ahsoka came across the room instantly, reaching out for her lightsabers with slightly shaking hands, instantly clipping them back where they belonged. Their resonance ran along her skin, her nerves, and she sighed in soft relief. 

"Okay, Skyguy," she answered, flashing a smile up at him. "I like that better anyway. 

"So what've they done _this_ time that has you all edgy?" 

"More of the usual, Snips." He went and crashed on the couch, sprawling with his back in a corner, legs stretched out, head laid back. "Always prying at what the Chancellor is doing, what's he saying, why is he pushing for this or that!" 

Ahsoka blinked and came over to stretch out along the length of the back of it, bracing up on her elbows to look at him with her head cocked. "...how're _you_ supposed to know? I mean, I know he's in contact with you a lot, or used to be, but..." 

"He's my friend, Snips." Anakin shifted so he could get his hand on her, letting it rest on her shoulder, careful not to brush the lekku. "He got me put on the Council, because he feels the Jedi have lost sight of the right way," he added, his guts churning over being trapped in the middle.

"He what?" Ahsoka blinked at him, pushing her shoulder into his touch... which meant that she could feel the roil of his conflict, his fear and anger and distaste and stress almost like it was her own. "How did -- no, never mind. 'How's' not important, and I don't care about the politics anyway. I'm worried about what it's doing to you.

"So he thinks there's something wrong with the Order, and they think... what?" 

Anakin groaned and shook his head against the back of the couch. "They're suspicious of him. Massively. They call it concern, but they, especially Mace, act like he's the threat, not the Separatists! They want me to spy on my friend, 'Soka! They got Obi-Wan to demand it of me!"

Ahsoka hissed at that, shaking her head sharply, infuriated for her Skyguy that anyone would put him in that kind of a situation, especially the Council! 

But then again... why was she surprised? She, better than most, knew perfectly well how rigid, dogmatic, and downright stupid at times they could be. She made sure she kept her shoulder under his hand, trying to radiate her support instead of her anger at the Council. 

"That's -- I'd like to say I can't believe they'd do that, but... well. I'm sorry, Skyguy, that's awful. And cruel." 

Anakin sighed. "I want to be here for Padmé. I don't want to let the Chancellor down either, and he asked me to be on the Council to help him. But sometimes… I just want to grab Appo and the company and go back to the war!"

She nodded, wriggling her way down the back of the couch to get closer to him, switching to bracing on just her outer arm so that she could put her near one down on his chest, give him some contact. She was curious at 'Appo' instead of 'Rex' but that wasn't for now. Neither he nor she needed to open a can of emotional worms if Rex had gotten … no, just not thinking on it. "I was surprised I felt you here," she admitted. "I knew it was her you were worried about, hoped I'd be able to comm you once I was with Padmé and tell you she had backup... but I really figured you'd be on the Rim, where they _need_ you, Skyguy.

"What in the galaxy _are_ you doing back here, anyway?" 

Anakin shifted a little so he could get comfortable with her along his side, arm stretched along her. "You didn't hear that we had a battle here? That they captured the Chancellor?" Maybe he could get around the whole… no, hadn't he decided he could tell her? 

She reeled back a little, staring at him. "No, I didn't -- I haven't been listening to any of the news, from anywhere. It... knowing I couldn't do _anything_ was just too hard. And I didn't have access to a viewscreen on the transit down. Or over, for that matter." Those were the moves of 'come down here', so she slid down and tucked herself carefully along his side, making sure that she didn't drape anywhere... inappropriate. "I -- oh, Skyguy, you have to have been out of your _mind_..." 

He sighed softly, feeling her settle, knowing she was there. When had being touched and touching those he cared for become such a solid need? He dismissed that part of his mind, and focused on telling her about the crisis that had brought him and Obi-Wan to rescue the Chancellor. It would take some time, but he spoke slowly, carefully regulating his emotions, so that when he got to Dooku… he could say it out loud, and find out if he really had stepped too far. 

She listened, feeling him trying to stay calm as he told her about the attack on the capital, the lightning raid that had taken the Chancellor... Their trouble getting to the _Invisible Hand_ , Obi-Wan's starfighter almost destroyed before they got there, the mess inside... He and Obi-Wan arguing, and then the moment's vision that had somehow been _wrong_ \-- that never happened to her ~~Mas~~ Skyguy -- and knowing it was a trap but going anyway. 

Of course they'd gone anyway. 

They were Kenobi-and-Skywalker. They would always go where it was hottest, where they were needed most. 

"Oh, Skyguy," she murmured, shaking her head at one point... but she knew the worst of it was still coming. She could feel that in his careful control. 

He drew in a deep breath. "We made it to the Chancellor. He was being restrained in a chair. And Dooku came in." Slowly, he unfolded the fight as it happened, all the way to Obi-Wan going down, leaving him to take the fight alone. "I -- Snips, I admit I was upset. I was worried about Obi-Wan, and I needed to end this, so the war might finally stop! But… I managed to disarm him. Took both his hands…"

His voice choked off, finding it almost impossible to say the words. And not able, at all, to talk about the fact that he'd ridden his rage, _used_ it... 

She made a quiet noise, not wincing at the thought. Her Skyguy did just fine with his artificial hand, even though she knew the pain had to have been excruciating -- but it was _Dooku_. Let him suffer, for all the brothers his war had killed! 

But that wasn't the end, she knew it, knew it deep in her chest, and she shifted to look into his eyes for a moment, seeing if that was what he needed, then tucked herself down against his shoulder. 

How could Anakin explain?

"The Chancellor… he ordered me to execute Dooku, for all he had done. A part of me wanted to, but I resisted. I did know I should capture him!" His whole body shook. "But the Chancellor, he's in command. He's the one who gets to decide, Snips! He told me I had to!" His voice was stressed, rising in pitch as he remembered what he had done.

Ahsoka hissed for a moment, shaking her head, then made herself be calm. Her Skyguy was hurting, his mind and presence roiling like a tornado, shot through with black and red, his panic and stress and agony washing into her, and she drew in a deep breath, then exhaled and offered some of the calm she'd gathered to him. Not pushing, not forcing it... but she would steady him, if he would let her. 

She knew, all the way to her core, that she was the only person he could tell this to, and he had to say all of it. "I'm here, Skyguy... I'm here." 

Anakin took a long moment, trying to find a stronger voice, a way to say it that would bring across what he'd felt. "I… I remembered all the deaths. All the suffering. I remembered how that sleemo Nute Gunray got away with everything against Padmé! I saw Dooku getting away like that, coming back at us… and I did just what the Chancellor told me to do. I did it, and I was angry, and for a minute, I felt good about it!"

He waited, waited for her to recoil, to renounce him for what he had done, just like Obi-Wan did in all his dreams where he confessed it to the older man.

"...oh," she whispered, soft, as panic for her best friend and an inferno of rage lit in her all at once, "oh, Skyguy... how could anyone ask you to do that? _Tell_ you to do that?!"

She had more to say, so much more, she had things to _shout_ , but that was all she let out. 

"He has to know best, Snips. He's in command," Anakin said, almost rotely, but she wasn't pulling away from him. She was still right there, not disgusted with him or threatening to tell the Council. "I had to follow orders, right?" He could not stop shaking, all his doubt welling up inside him again.

She shook her head, her eyes narrowing at that almost youngling-reciting answer, her lips tightening over her teeth, and she pressed closer to him, curling around his body protectively, wishing she was bigger or he wasn't so stupidly tall... but she had the Force. She could wrap it around him, hold him as he shook with pain and fear and doubt. "Skyguy... you don't follow _anybody's_ orders. Ever.

"And he was wrong, Anakin. He was wrong to do that to you, to ask that of you." 

He looked at her in complete startlement at that avowal of his known reputation for disregarding orders. It was true. So why had he done it?

"Maybe I wanted to do it too much, because I am so tired of this war, Ahsoka. Maybe I used his order as an excuse for doing what I knew was wrong." He shuddered. "It wouldn't be the first time I killed in rage," he muttered, as sand and heat and grief blasted through his memories.

"Skyguy?" she asked, worried, feeling heat and smelling sand, her Skyguy's furious grief rolling into her mind, her chest, for a moment showing her somewhere else, somewhen else -- but then it was gone and only the grief was left. She couldn't get any closer without trying to slide under his clothes, and the very thought of that wrinkled her nose; that wasn't for her, he had a mate and a child coming, but she burrowed her head in against him a little more, careful with her montrals. 

"Oh, Skyguy... I'm here..." 

"You are," he said, with a trace of wonder for that simple fact. She was there against him, holding him with the Force, wrapped inside their bond, and he would never regret leaving that bond there, as ragged as it had made him feel to not reach into it while she was gone. "I'm sorry, Ahsoka, that I wasn't stronger. I just… I really did want it to end, but it hasn't and if Obi-Wan ever realizes, or finds out… I could lose everything."

She petted him with one hand, gentle and easy, shaking her head a little as she lifted her head to look at his face. His eyes... the blue was almost black with shame and pain and uncertainty, and seeing that in her Skyguy made her own rage burn hotter. But that... that was for later, when he didn't need her so badly. "You're not going to lose me. Or Padmé. I'm not going to leave you because you made a terrible mistake and listened to the wrong person." 

He half-sobbed and then grabbed hold of her with both arms, shifting so he could bury his face against her, shuddering at her words. He just held on tight, let her soothe his pain and fear. She was strong enough for them both right now, and he could find his way. Somehow, he would find his way, to prove her faith in him. He would find his strength so that Padmé was protected. 

"I can do this," he whispered. "I have you back. I can do this."

"You can do anything you set your mind to, Skyguy," Ahsoka agreed, stretching out as much as she could to be big enough to protect him, "I know you can. 

"We're going to work all of this out." She promised it to him, soft and firm, and gave him her faith and trust, her... her love. He was her best friend, her teacher, her ~~Master~~ mentor, her protector. Of course she loved him, no matter what the Order had tried to teach her. "It's going to be okay." 

He fell into a simple breathing exercise, bringing the chaos of his mind under his control, letting her presence guide him to a more peaceful place. Slowly, he was able to let go a little, so she could relax down along his chest. 

"I'm okay now," he said, several quiet minutes later, and he meant it. He had everything behind the gates of his willpower, and he'd reinforced it by using their bond. He would lean into her strength if he began to falter.

She snorted at him, thumping her forehead against his shoulder. "Skyguy, you just told me that one of the people you count as your closest friends pushed you until you _executed_ someone. You're not okay. You're just steady again." 

"Semantics," he said with a wry grin. "So, who's cooking, since Padmé fed us breakfast?" he asked, diverting to something normal, just to have a chance to move, let his peace settle in his skin.

She lifted her head looked at him thoughtfully, trying to figure out if she should push on him or let this go... and no, that was the look of a Skyguy that really, really needed to move, to _do_ something. "At least everything won't be a foot over my head in this kitchen," she said, starting to move to get up, letting go of her Force-hold on him. "So I guess I can. But you can come help, if you want." 

"Sounds good. And we'll blame Threepio if we make a mess," he added, swinging free of her to start moving that way.


End file.
